It's not unheard of that God works in mysterious ways, I learned first hand today.

I guess I could be described as a girl who has insecurities, who relies on others for approval, and who takes what other's think in high esteem. I love being on the stage more than anything, it feels like home to me. Maybe it's so comfortable because of the applause after every dance, because of the mask of make-up and character I get to hide behind, because of my pride in all the wrong places. Pride of beauty, of talent, of excellence, of being loved.
I have pride in false beauty, in a talent that is not mine, and of excellence that is only perceived. The true pride should be in a God who saved me, who created the universe, and who gave me legs to dance with.
Today I learned that what everyone else thinks of me really DOES not matter. The best I can be is the most authentic version of me. God can't use me if I'm all wrapped up in thoughts about what everyone else is seeing or thinking or saying.
Honestly I'm glad what went down on stage today happened. Maybe it took a few falls, a few scares, and momentary paralysis to realize that what others think of me is not important.
What an incredible show, what an awesome God!

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint!

Isaiah 40:31

John Mayer - Your Body Is A Wonderland

It's a regular old Friday morning as I sit here in at my kitchen table pounding away at the keyboard in hopes of finishing my Science project by 11am. The only thing different about this morning is the fact that Your Body is a Wonderland (John Mayer) just played on my Pandora station, and I couldn't resist leaving my indian style seating at the table for the obvious dance floor the kitchen opened up for me between the oven and the dishwasher. Everytime I hear that song, I can't resist an overwhelming sense of happiness, it is just such a clever song.

So I guess I don't have anything profound to pull out of this, just wanted to share a moment in time when everything was alright and I had no worries for the three minutes that song played. The best part is, that three minutes of carefree happiness is just a preview to what I will experience as I head to Charleston, SC this weekend :) I can hardly wait.

Breathtaking- Andrea Bocelli and Katharine McPhee

After listening to this beautiful re-make about a hundred times, I figured I would post it for you all to enjoy as well. Andrea Bocelli's voice is absolutely breath-taking, but Michael Buble will always be my first love. . . seriously.

Biblical inerracy... or not?

As Christians, we often times get in the habit of leaning on "Faith" to answer those tough questions, and Biblical contradicitons.

This seriously frustrates me, for a number of reasons.

We do not possess faith at the expense of critical thinking and research, or vice versa. God has gifted us with minds to think, to analyze, and to discover. Who's to say we can't use them!?

I will dwell on this thought tonight, and write back in the morning...

In the meantime, despite our questions and uncertainty on many things concerning God, we can rest assured that

"Though the mountains may be shaken, and the hills be removed,

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken,

nor my covenant of peace be removed,"

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

Religion-ship

So often, we get caught up in Religion that we forget about the actual Active and Living God.

Religion is a variety of approaches to worshipping and learning about the SAME God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

What we should seek more than Sunday morning church is a relationship with the Maker of the Universe... instead of just listening to another man's take on God, why don't we discover Him for ourselves?

You see, God is the same, never changing, but your interpretation may be completely different than your Pastor's. What I'm saying is that is OK.

We need to come to the realization that God is living, and we have a fire actively burning in our hearts to know him! We can water that fire and let it burn out by going to Sunday morning church and feeling content in that. We need to add ammunition to that fire by seeking answers, by asking questions, and by SEARCHING for God!

I know this life is filled with sorrow, and there are days when the pain just lasts and lasts,
but there will be a day when our pain is washed away....
God is SO Holy, so majestic, and so complex... we cant even begin to fathom his ways!

I challenge you to seek God this week... ask a question and find an answer, but I bet you won't just find one...

What I've discovered is there are no definites in my answers, the only is that God is Love, and Love has come and died for us all. Yet I still find peace and even more honor for my God as I seek His presence and understanding of His unfathomable ways and will!

Isn't it true that a simple song can take us anywhere, to any place, any specific memory. . . any specific person?

Isn't it wonderful?!

Something like that happened to me tonight.

Out of some sort of instinct, I felt the need to start a double batch of homemade cookies at 11:30 at night, just because.

After a wonderful day, some sort of blissful little girl glee has come over me that makes me want to do strange things like bake in the middle of night, and dance like a crazy woman in my kitchen to Michael Buble love songs. . . those songs that give you goosebumps and take you to a memory.

My conclusion: I really hope no one was outside my kitchen window, they got quite an interesting show. . . oh, and I burnt the second batch of cookies.

So for now, I'll bid farewell, with my last batch of cookies in the oven, and currently singing along to "Everything" by Buble, basking in the memory of another time. . .

"In this crazy life, and through these crazy times, it's you, it's you, you make me sing,

Your every line, your every word, your everything."

Nothing Special On My Own...

It's easy to get wrapped up in our greatness. . .
I do it all the time.

What we tend to forget is that pale blue sky above us, that sun that burns without fail, the stars that shine for us. Everything we take for granted, is the extra-ordinary that is truly worth the attention we seek for ourselves.

I am so small in the presence of my all mighty powerful GOD. Underneath me, all around me, his works surround me.

The mighty strike of a flash of lightning, is His.
The aqua blue seas of the Caribbean, are His.
The black night sky sprinkled with glittering stars, is His.
The universe in its complex entirety. . .
everything we know, and all that we do not know, is His.

I am His creation too.

Every good work is inspired by the ultimate Creator. It's easy to forget, in a world where we focus so much on finding "ourselves" that we lose God in the meantime.

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus. . . vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!

In your eyes I see the pain, come soak this dry heart with healing rain. . .


The crazy part about life is that we never know what's ahead of us. We live a life in faith or in fear, in anxious anticipation, or in open hearted trust. When we are faced with the unexpected, the unthinkable, and unfortunate, we draw closer or pull away. . . but what we often forget is that there is so much more than what we are actually perceiving.
Life seems so real, it feels so real, the pain is real, the questions are real. But there is a God who is more real, more alive, and all-knowing. . . he is the universe in its entirety. As humans, we are limited to what we can see, and understand. . . but if we look closely we can see with our hearts what most can't.
God sends healing rain to wash away the hurt, the sorrow and the grief. Open your heart and feel that rain. . . dance barefoot in it, basque in the glory of God's grace! Rest in his hands, the hands that molded the earth, shaped the mountains and placed the stars in the night sky. . . lay your head in that hand!

So, lift your hands they can be held by someone greater. . . the great I Am!

http://http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/toby-mac-hold-on-lyrics/a0e973dfc2811a75aed0a0e973dfc2811a75aed0-1726639833246

It's time to rise from the dusty trail, the sun is in the sky, the pavement is right here in front of us... it's time to take God's Way, my selfish interests, what I thought was best... it surely wasn't... but I can lift my eyes to the hope thats true. Wipin away those tears, and resting my head on His shoulder, the one who's in crazy love with me, the Only One.

His love will never change.

Baby hold on just another day or two, I can see the clouds are movin faster now and the sun is breaking through

If you could hold on to the one thats holding you, there is nothing that can stop this crazy love from breaking through.

I find freedom in my promise of salvation.
This life is only for a short while,
and I only get this once,

Life is too short to spend it uselessly.
Trying to make sense of the insensible is senseless.

Dance in the rain,
Enjoy every second. . .
Love with every ounce of your being.

And above all,
believe in the beauty of your dreams.

At almost twenty years of age, I have found myself between a rock and a hard place.
I have expected SO much out of a man, and I have shown love in every imaginable way to him.

But this love I'm trying SO hard to create, is a war.
This turmoil I feel is real, and it pulls me down.

My heart is breaking slowly.
And he realizes it.

So I have let myself free from my self imprisonment in him.
He knows that I have done nothing wrong. . .
And he has done everything wrong.

So I'm free.

The reasons why we stay with someone can be shallow. He taught me everything I don't want in a man, and gave me hope to see the man that I could one day be with. But my strength comes from the LORD. And a war has already been waged for my destiny. . . and the right man is included in that plan, and the time must be ripe.

Isaiah 43
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine.When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end—Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior.I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you!I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.

When your heart is broken, and the sorrow feels like a knife thrust in to your beating heart. . .
When your beyond those tears, beyond the point of even trying to understand. . .

He is there.
He is carrying you, and you don't even know it.

There is always hope for me, because I can lift my weary eyes to that hill, sometimes I forget. . .
that hill.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord.

The maker of heaven and earth, the breath of life, the artist who painted stars in the black night sky.

The ruler of the ocean's tide, when and if the sun and moon rise.
The coreographer of the plantet's orbits. . .
The cosmic intellectual who designed the universe.

We can't even comprehend the universe.
And he holds it in his hand.

I am confined to this body, confined to this world. . . these things that concern me now, they are only for a short while.

And while I feel I'm walking through the valley of the shadow,
I rest upon the hand of truth, whose love comforts me.
He is all the strength that I will ever need,
He will carry me.

And how can I forget that he has made everything beautiful in its time.
He's set eternity in the hearts of men.
Yet, they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

That's my God.

And He's carrying me.

Building a Case Against Myself

Reality has its way of getting in the way of our dreams. People give up so easy on goals that were at once in sight, and suddenly lost in a mist of hazy fog called "real life."
Of course, this all leads up to love.
Us women, we're obsessed with it. We want it so badly. We dream of it. And then, we experience it...
and it's NOTHING like it's cracked up to be.
Our hearts are broken repeatedly, we offer so much, we give our time, our energy, our attention, even our money to invest in a man who manipulates us into believing the dirty lie that we're worth nothing.
That's right. NOTHING.
Sure, he buys your dinner when you go out, he seems to like you, and he is really attractive. I mean, who wouldn't fall for those blue eyes and that charming smile?
Exactly it. Every other woman out there would. Problem is, all they see are the eyes and the smile. . . not the tears you cry each night as you lie in bed feeling hopelessly unwanted. Not the heart wrenching torment you go through as you wait for a call, just hoping, praying he hasn't been drinking again (without you there to babysit). Not the thoughts in your mind as you sit at that dinner table wondering when he will look over at you instead of every half decent looking female that walks by. Wishing he would just call you beautiful, look into your eyes and say, "I love you," and mean it. Give you some sort of security in the fact that he's in this because he truly desires you, and ALL you are. The man who realizes how lucky you are to have each other, not how lucky you are to have him.
So you wait, and wonder, and think about all these things. Your girlfriends call you stupid, and they tell you to get rid of the loser. Potential love interests beg for your attention, and its tempting. . . undoubtedly, just to be held. You can close your eyes and pretend your looking into those blue eyes and that sweet smile you fell for. But then you realize its not true, its not him, and you just feel empty inside again.
Your the angel on the roller coaster ride. You know you have wings, but you chose to take this wild ride, the highs, they are indeed highs, but the lows, they are deep and painful.
If you only knew what you did to me. . . why do I care, when you don't care for me?